Today I enter the bank...
Bank: How can I help you?
Me: I'd like to get a Medallion Signature Guarantee.
Bank: Are you a customer?
Bank: Do you have an ID?
Me: *shows ID*
Bank: *looks up my account*
Bank: You opened up your account yesterday?
Bank: *applies Medallion Signature Guarantee*
I think she was ever so slightly suspicious of the transaction.